September 9, 2012 - Posted by DrMyrtleMeans

Today I have decided to share one of my favorite ingredients to The Recipe for Ecstasy: Variation in the Sex Act.  In the pursuit of the perfect dish, I asked women to tell me in their own words about their most sexually satisfying experience.  These savory narratives led me to the ingredients in The Recipe for Ecstasy. Every woman was looking for something a little different. No mater what group you occupy, however, (married or single, with or without children)  you can’t make a satisfying experience without a pinch of this or a hint of that. So  take a lesson from the single women with children who believe that changing up the recipe helps to keep things hot and fresh!

Variation in the Sex Act

For this group of 27 women, variation in the sex act was the main ingredient, identified in 70% of the narratives. Variation in the sex act, for single woman with children, included accessories, anal sex, oral sex, and a variety of sexual positions, for example, “when my partner oiled me all over, kissed my back, neck, oral sex, and tried anal sex.” In the following narrative the guy dressed his meat before he ate it:

I had gone over to my partner’s house. He decided to try something different, so he blindfolded me and laid me on the bed. He spread my legs and began to shave/trim the hair in my vaginal area. After he cleaned off the shaving cream, he began to lick my private area until I had an orgasm. Then he took a vibrator and moved it in all the right ways and I reached an orgasm again. He took off the blindfold and held me upside down while he fucked me to my third orgasm.

In the next narrative there are several components to the sexual experience, including foreplay, mutual gratification, orgasm responsiveness, different positions, various sex acts, and accessories. For this woman it was important to be well accessorized. But the most salient feature of her erotic experience was the variety. Variety is the spice of life; without it things get stale, like a bag of chips open all night. Watch a little porn, add a splash of fantasy to your reality, a dose of doggy style to go with the moans and the groans. No one desires chicken every night of the week. So where is the beef? Maybe this woman has it:

My most satisfying experience occurred approximately one month ago. My boyfriend and I were giving each other backrubs on the living room carpet. We turned the satellite channel to “New Age CD” and slowly began to give each other backrubs. After he rubbed my back for approximately 15 minutes, he told me to just relax and enjoy the music. He started to rub my leg down by the calf and he slowly worked his way up my thigh. He continued to tease me for about 10 minutes. He then flipped my body over and began to perform oral sex on me. I reached my first orgasm in about three minutes. He then began kissing me (which in itself makes me so horny). I worked my way down to his penis and performed oral sex on him. We then began to have intercourse in a number of different positions. I know I had at least three more orgasms. Our final position (which is my favorite) was when I was on my knees and he entered me from behind while holding my hips. He reached orgasm and exploded inside me. It was great!

As you can see, this woman has a healthy appetite. Her body is very responsive, allowing her to achieve many orgasms during one sexual experience. She likes it doggy style, which is on all fours and from the back. In this position, he can reach deep inside and hit the spot, like a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day. Don’t you get thirsty just thinking about it? A good cook is flexible. She can tweak a recipe with a slight substitution, and voila! from “doggy style” to “lazy dog.” Add this, subtract that, a slight variation, and you have created an entirely new, scrumptious, recipe.

I can’t say it enough: foreplay, foreplay, and foreplay! Remember the sexual response cycle and that oven which needs to be preheated before you get to cookin’? It takes a woman longer to get sexually aroused than men. She takes fifteen to twenty minutes, where he might take only five. She is not even warm yet, and he is ready to dive right in. So even though he may be ready, it does not mean that she is. Good things cum to those who wait, so take your time, eat all the food on the plate.

A number of these single women mentioned the variety came in the form of foreplay. Foreplay involves the activities directed toward arousal, which take place before intercourse. In the world of recipes, foreplay is akin to time spent with the sous chef. So, how do you train your sous chef to work in your kitchen?

Tell him about your body and how it response to his touches, kisses, and caresses. Educate him about the signs of arousal in women. They may be a little harder to detect, vaginal moisture and expansion are not as obvious as an erection. Make sure that he checks your temperature with his fingers to make sure that you are hot. Before he sticks his meat in the oven, preheat it, while the meat marinates. It will be more flavorful and juicy when it is ready. It gives you both time to long for that first bite. The sexual tension will build as you both anticipate the climax. Most women attribute their overall sexual satisfaction to the prep time involved: foreplay.

Kissing, hugging, touching, rubbing. Talking? Yes talking. Talking can be one of the most stimulating acts of foreplay. And I am not necessarily referring to talking dirty, although this works too. I am talking about intimate sharing; there is nothing like getting personal to put a woman in the mood for getting personal. I know this is not what your man wants to hear: more talking. But if you tell him, “talking will facilitate intimacy, and if I feel like you are into me, the possibilities are infinite”, I’d bet that he would oblige. Yes, sometimes you might opt for the quick solution to vaginal lubrication by using some over-the-counter product like KY Jelly or my personal favorite Astroglide, but it’s nothing like the real thing, baby. Tell him to take his time; better yet, show him how to take his time by taking your time with him. The hotter you get the more responsive you will be, and that just makes it gravy for everybody.

This woman agreed, “A lot of foreplay, kissing, talking, and love-making, oral, vaginal and anal sex for three hours off and on.” Another woman wrote, “All the foreplay that he does and oral sex that he does.” In short, if you want him to hit your spot, he has first got to make it hot!

This is just a taste of what The Recipe for Ecstasy has to offer. There is something in it to satisfy all appetites. Get your copy today. www.therecipeforecstasy.com, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com

2 Responses to “Variation in the Sex Act”

  1. Diiaannaa says:

    Hi thank you for your interest in my wsbeite.I have approached the subject of women’s sexuality through the basic skills of applying common sense and logic to real life situations. I have used my own experiences of arousal and orgasm as well as those of other women I have talked to. I have tried to demonstrate some of the truths about women’s sexuality (especially when compared to men’s) that we implicitly assume but that are rarely formally acknowledged.For example, my story under ‘Sexual Promiscuity’ under the category ‘Sexual Desire’ talks about our attitudes to people who are less discriminating about who they have sex with. My point is that we tend to be more understanding of this behaviour in men and my suggestion is that this is because we accept that men have a stronger sex drive. Men’s very evidently stronger sexual motivation is strongly denied by popular opinion despite the overwhelming evidence.I have spoken to a number of women about their sexual experiences and was surprised to find very few who were enthusiastic about masturbation. I then realised that I was lucky because I enjoyed reading erotic literature and not every woman is so enthused with even the idea of eroticism. Also, even as a teenager, I aspired to an adult relationship with a man that included an active and pleasurable sex life – not many women I spoke to ever had this ambition.I have also read extensively and the site includes quotes from other published sources, where relevant, to back up the points I am making. For example, John Gray (author of Men are from Mars) states categorically that men are more sexually driven than women but he is one of the very few people who is willing to stand out from the crowd.My own experiences have been crucial to my understanding and conclusions. For example, the fact that women use sexual fantasy during masturbation and that clitoral stimulation is only effective when used in combination with sexual fantasy. Initially, I thought there might be something different or deficient in my experiences. I paid out serious sums of money to be told that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me and that my experiences were also quite normal.I came to question the authority of the experts because I frequently found that they had read less about the facts of female sexuality than I had. Very few people have read Shere Hite and no one was able to talk about her findings in the context of modern sexual relationships. There were no answers I met only with defensiveness and old wives tales from the experts I talked to. I realised that the subject of women’s arousal was not properly understood by anyone.I have used logic to deduce that women must also expect to use fantasies during sex because I have asked myself the question: If men have more testosterone and become aroused by the naked body of a sexual partner (my own experience tells me that women do not become aroused enough for orgasm by looking at the body of a sexual partner) then what do women use for arousal instead? Various quotes indicate that other women do use fantasy during sex.It has taken a long time – over ten years. I have researched various books as referenced on my site, I have spoken to as many women as I could and I have also deeply questioned my own experiences. The next stage is to try and get many more women’s experiences documented so that we can have a better understanding. I don’t claim to know all the answers. I am simply questioning the contradictions that women are currently faced with.

  2. DrMyrtleMeans says:

    Female sexuality is very complicated, as it is affected by so many things. It is a top down process for us. Therefore, our mood, thoughts, feelings, activities of the day, relationship dynamics, etc..can all impact our level of responsiveness. What turns her on today, may turn her off tomorrow. One of the most important things is that she knows her body and can communicate her needs effectively.


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