Today I have decided to share one of my favorite ingredients to The Recipe for Ecstasy: Variation in the Sex Act. In the pursuit of the perfect dish, I asked women to tell me in their own words about their most sexually satisfying experience. These savory narratives led me to the ingredients in The Recipe for Ecstasy. Every woman was looking for something a little different. No mater what group you occupy, however, (married or single, with or without children) you can’t make a satisfying experience without a pinch of this or a hint of that. So take a lesson from the single women with children who believe that changing up the recipe helps to keep things hot and fresh!
Variation in the Sex Act
For this group of 27 women, variation in the sex act was the main ingredient, identified in 70% of the narratives. Variation in the sex act, for single woman with children, included accessories, anal sex, oral sex, and a variety of sexual positions, for example, “when my partner oiled me all over, kissed my back, neck, oral sex, and tried anal sex.” In the following narrative the guy dressed his meat before he ate it:
I had gone over to my partner’s house. He decided to try something different, so he blindfolded me and laid me on the bed. He spread my legs and began to shave/trim the hair in my vaginal area. After he cleaned off the shaving cream, he began to lick my private area until I had an orgasm. Then he took a vibrator and moved it in all the right ways and I reached an orgasm again. He took off the blindfold and held me upside down while he fucked me to my third orgasm.
In the next narrative there are several components to the sexual experience, including foreplay, mutual gratification, orgasm responsiveness, different positions, various sex acts, and accessories. For this woman it was important to be well accessorized. But the most salient feature of her erotic experience was the variety. Variety is the spice of life; without it things get stale, like a bag of chips open all night. Watch a little porn, add a splash of fantasy to your reality, a dose of doggy style to go with the moans and the groans. No one desires chicken every night of the week. So where is the beef? Maybe this woman has it:
My most satisfying experience occurred approximately one month ago. My boyfriend and I were giving each other backrubs on the living room carpet. We turned the satellite channel to “New Age CD” and slowly began to give each other backrubs. After he rubbed my back for approximately 15 minutes, he told me to just relax and enjoy the music. He started to rub my leg down by the calf and he slowly worked his way up my thigh. He continued to tease me for about 10 minutes. He then flipped my body over and began to perform oral sex on me. I reached my first orgasm in about three minutes. He then began kissing me (which in itself makes me so horny). I worked my way down to his penis and performed oral sex on him. We then began to have intercourse in a number of different positions. I know I had at least three more orgasms. Our final position (which is my favorite) was when I was on my knees and he entered me from behind while holding my hips. He reached orgasm and exploded inside me. It was great!
As you can see, this woman has a healthy appetite. Her body is very responsive, allowing her to achieve many orgasms during one sexual experience. She likes it doggy style, which is on all fours and from the back. In this position, he can reach deep inside and hit the spot, like a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day. Don’t you get thirsty just thinking about it? A good cook is flexible. She can tweak a recipe with a slight substitution, and voila! from “doggy style” to “lazy dog.” Add this, subtract that, a slight variation, and you have created an entirely new, scrumptious, recipe.
I can’t say it enough: foreplay, foreplay, and foreplay! Remember the sexual response cycle and that oven which needs to be preheated before you get to cookin’? It takes a woman longer to get sexually aroused than men. She takes fifteen to twenty minutes, where he might take only five. She is not even warm yet, and he is ready to dive right in. So even though he may be ready, it does not mean that she is. Good things cum to those who wait, so take your time, eat all the food on the plate.
A number of these single women mentioned the variety came in the form of foreplay. Foreplay involves the activities directed toward arousal, which take place before intercourse. In the world of recipes, foreplay is akin to time spent with the sous chef. So, how do you train your sous chef to work in your kitchen?
Tell him about your body and how it response to his touches, kisses, and caresses. Educate him about the signs of arousal in women. They may be a little harder to detect, vaginal moisture and expansion are not as obvious as an erection. Make sure that he checks your temperature with his fingers to make sure that you are hot. Before he sticks his meat in the oven, preheat it, while the meat marinates. It will be more flavorful and juicy when it is ready. It gives you both time to long for that first bite. The sexual tension will build as you both anticipate the climax. Most women attribute their overall sexual satisfaction to the prep time involved: foreplay.
Kissing, hugging, touching, rubbing. Talking? Yes talking. Talking can be one of the most stimulating acts of foreplay. And I am not necessarily referring to talking dirty, although this works too. I am talking about intimate sharing; there is nothing like getting personal to put a woman in the mood for getting personal. I know this is not what your man wants to hear: more talking. But if you tell him, “talking will facilitate intimacy, and if I feel like you are into me, the possibilities are infinite”, I’d bet that he would oblige. Yes, sometimes you might opt for the quick solution to vaginal lubrication by using some over-the-counter product like KY Jelly or my personal favorite Astroglide, but it’s nothing like the real thing, baby. Tell him to take his time; better yet, show him how to take his time by taking your time with him. The hotter you get the more responsive you will be, and that just makes it gravy for everybody.
This woman agreed, “A lot of foreplay, kissing, talking, and love-making, oral, vaginal and anal sex for three hours off and on.” Another woman wrote, “All the foreplay that he does and oral sex that he does.” In short, if you want him to hit your spot, he has first got to make it hot!
This is just a taste of what The Recipe for Ecstasy has to offer. There is something in it to satisfy all appetites. Get your copy today. www.therecipeforecstasy.com, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com