January 5, 2014 - Posted by DrMyrtleMeans

The Media has been focused on whether or not Dwayne Wade’s proposal to Gabrielle Union was a strategic public relations move. It has been suggested that his engagement is being used to distract the public from the fact that he just fathered a child with another women. Supposedly, this occurred while on a “break” from his relationship from Ms. Union.  Why don’t we call it what it is? He cheated on her. Or at the very least, he didn’t bother waiting until things cooled down between them, before he got hot and bothered with some other woman. People fight, disagree, break-up and make up all the time.  Grown ups know better. But to know better is not always to do better.

It does not surprise me that D Wade sleeps around. It may be an unfair characterization, however, I imagine most professional athletes get their fair share of ass (married or single).  My concern is that he is the father of three boys (two of his own and a nephew that he is raising). He, like many other athletes, is a role model for young boys. But more importantly he has three young boys that are watching him very closely.  What kinds of lessons are being taught? He has a responsibility to them and the community at large to behave responsibly.  Fathering a child outside of marriage, while in the midst of a high profile long-term relationship is anything but responsible. Boys and young men alike are looking to professional athletes for a standard of behavior (especially those who are fatherless).  Stop sending the message that it is ok to have unprotected sex outside of a meaningful relationship. It is not acceptable to bring children into the world that you can’t parent full-time. This is not ok!

Of course he is going to financially support this child, and presumably, be involved in the child’s life. That is, to the extent that he can be when they are living in separate households and he is jet setting all over the world. Don’t bring a child in the world that you can’t feed. Feeding is not just providing child support for grocery money. It also entails teaching, comforting, discipline, direction, and support.

This is a message to all of the “baby daddies” out there, many of who are not as financially solvent as D Wade: stop making babies that you are not going to be available to as a full-time parent.  Children need their parents to be involved in every stage of their development. Providing child support is a minimal requirement. For the average family, it is just a drop in the bucket when you consider the vast needs of children (financial, physical, emotional, spiritual).

Of course, the mother of his new born, Aja Metoyer is not without culpability, as is true for many “baby mamas”. Women have to be more discriminating when choosing whom they share the gift of life.  She has been down this path before.  She already has two daughters with a man who is no longer in her life, except for “co-parenting”.  This is a fancy way of saying the parents don’t live together. Thus, the child is torn between two worlds.

Baby mama drama is real. Many women cut up, when they are deserted by their baby daddy. Think carefully when you are deciding whether or not to have sex with someone who could potentially be a part of your life forever. She could be an ex-wife or even worse the woman he didn’t marry. He just popped the bun in the oven and didn’t bother staying for dinner.   Whatever the flavor, it has a bad after taste that lingers… and lingers.

While single parenthood arises out of many circumstances, irresponsibility is the most common culprit.  Adults must stop making decisions that have devastating consequences for the children who are without a voice or a choice. Don’t let your sex run your life!

7 Responses to “A Piece Of My Mind: D Wade’s Baby Mama Drama”

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