While writing my initial draft for my next book, The Recipe for Ecstasy-A Couples’ Guide to Intimacy and Pleasure, I realized that I had yet to address the role of sexual positions in sexual satisfaction. It seems like such an obvious tweak to The Recipe for Ecstasy. Varying sexual positions is a simple way to add spice to your sex life. Certain sexual positions may also reduce pain or discomfort, and thus may be required for optimal pleasure.
Recently, Mimi Faust, a reality TV personality, (I hesitate to call her a star, because I had not heard of her until now.) released a sex tape with her having sex in the shower, while holding onto a shower rod and simultaneously doing pull-ups. Now I must admit, I am impressed with her athleticism, however I ask myself, ” Is this really necessary?” I am sure that the desire to create hype influenced the theatrics of this video. My fear is that oft times media portrayals of sexuality distorts the reality of expectations between lovers. The same can be said of Beyonce’s “surfboard” position. Now all of a sudden people are drowning and Home Depot has sold out of heavy-duty shower rods.
The use of sexual positions to enhance the sexual experience is only one facet of variety. Variety may also include things such as setting, role-play, and the use of toys. Sexual satisfaction does not rely on the presence of variety alone. Mood, nature of the relationship (casual or committed), passion, and intimacy are also important aspects of sexual pleasure.
In this article, however, I am going to emphasize the role of bending, twisting, standing, lifting, and putting the body in the position to get the most pleasure. What’s wrong with good ole vanilla missionary sex? Nothing. It allows the couple to gaze into each other’s eyes, lay skin to skin, and kiss deeply.
Just a slight variation, add nuts, hot caramel, and vanilla becomes… The Hero. From the missionary position, the woman can bend her legs and raise her knees up to her shoulders, with her feet in the air. The man kneels down, with his thighs under her butt, so she can rest on him as he enters her. Thus, creating a rocking motion that will rock your world!
Doggy style, entering the vagina from the rear, while the woman is on all fours, allows for deep forceful penetration. Doggy style is a great position for G-spot stimulation, and it comes with its’ very own view. Ass. Take that rear entry position to the mattress, where both partners are lying on their sides, and now you have the lazy dog – a position that allows for deep penetration without expending the same effort. It also allows for each person’s hands to be free to roam all over the body.
Cowgirl (female superior) puts the woman in charge. She gets to control the depth and pace of penetration. The female superior position often always for ease of orgasm for women. With just one flip, reverse cowgirl (female on top, facing away from male) gives you a new twist on an old favorite. Lean forward, “fill the tub up half way and ride it with my surfboard” and you too might be “drunk in love”. While Beyonce gives us a catchy little tune and great imagery, many women might find that sex in water has a counterintuitive affect on female lubrication. It is hard to stay wet in water.
Mutual gratification is a key ingredient to sexual satisfaction. The 69 sex position is mutuality at its’ best. The simultaneous tasting of partners allows a person to give and receive pleasure at the same time. If you are really good, you might orgasm at the same time too. Ding!
There are countless positions that vary in the degree of complexity and practicality. The most important thing is that a couple finds positions that allows for their unique preferences and agility. Trying out new positions is a way to add spice and playfulness to your sex life. Try a different one a week and find a few ‘go to moves’ that get the job done.